When I was little and had made a mistake, the first person I would always run to would be my mom. I knew that her love for me was completely unconditional, and that no matter what I had done she would help, guide, and teach me to make things right again. In fact, there was a song that she would always sing to us kids when we had done something wrong, had taken ownership of our mistake and were truly repentant. Here's how the song went:
Take three steps forward and one step back, and you've made a little progress.
Take three steps forward and one step back, and you've started on your way
Take three steps forward and one step back, then one great leap ahead.
Now look around see how far you've come; it's hard to believe where you've begun.
Take three more steps plus an extra one.
And you've come a long, long way!
This song has been so helpful to me as I've grown and changed and made many, many mistakes over my teenage years. This song is especially helpful to me now. I want my body to react to things in the "normal" way, and it's just not happening. I think that especially when I was in Denver it was difficult, because FOR GOODNESS SAKE THESE PEOPLE ARE RELATED TO ME, and yet I'm so different.
I need to learn to accept me for who I am, with all my short comings, and weird health things, and everything...and try to be happy with that person. It's a long and arduous journey with many steps forward and backward, but I know that God will be with me along the way, and with the support of my incredible family and friends I can do it.
So, I've just experienced a few steps back, but as Anne of Green Gables says: Tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes in it. God willing, tomorrow I will take a step in the right direction!
Here's to tomorrow!! :)