Thursday, February 19, 2009

Children Learn What They Live

My mom has a little laminated card on our fridge. On it is this poem:

Children Learn What They Live:
If a child lives with criticism,
He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
He learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance,
He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
He learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise,
He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness,
He learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,
He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
He learns to find love in the world.

Have a wonderful weekend! :)

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Lessons to be Learned...

When I was little and had made a mistake, the first person I would always run to would be my mom. I knew that her love for me was completely unconditional, and that no matter what I had done she would help, guide, and teach me to make things right again. In fact, there was a song that she would always sing to us kids when we had done something wrong, had taken ownership of our mistake and were truly repentant. Here's how the song went:

Take three steps forward and one step back, and you've made a little progress.
Take three steps forward and one step back, and you've started on your way
Take three steps forward and one step back, then one great leap ahead.
Now look around see how far you've come; it's hard to believe where you've begun.
Take three more steps plus an extra one.
And you've come a long, long way!

This song has been so helpful to me as I've grown and changed and made many, many mistakes over my teenage years. This song is especially helpful to me now. I want my body to react to things in the "normal" way, and it's just not happening. I think that especially when I was in Denver it was difficult, because FOR GOODNESS SAKE THESE PEOPLE ARE RELATED TO ME, and yet I'm so different.

I need to learn to accept me for who I am, with all my short comings, and weird health things, and everything...and try to be happy with that person. It's a long and arduous journey with many steps forward and backward, but I know that God will be with me along the way, and with the support of my incredible family and friends I can do it.

So, I've just experienced a few steps back, but as Anne of Green Gables says: Tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes in it. God willing, tomorrow I will take a step in the right direction!

Here's to tomorrow!! :)

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Baby Steps

Boy oh boy! Isn't life just crazy sometimes? Phew. I feel like this is one of the first moments in a long time that I have just been able to breaaaaaaaaathe.

School has just been insane. Because of my unexpected trip to Denver and my over-achieving, I can take on anything attitude, I gave myself a course load in school that was just too much for me. School has consumed my life in the past few weeks. Generally when this type of thing happens EVERYTHING falls by the way side-- relationships, health, piano, exercise, emotional stability, sleep-- and I would look and feel like a total mess. I think, however, I am finally beginning to grow up and learn and change, and it is so wonderful. Although most things have been neglected, the most important things have not. Sure, exercise, piano, sleep, and an obsessive conscientiousness over what I eat have not been as consistent lately, but I have not taken out all my feelings of stress and anxiety on the people that love me most.

I am so thankful to God that He forgives and allows us to repent. There are still sooo, so, sooooo many things I need to work on, but it's encouraging to see a little improvement!